Your own personal 2012 apocalypse

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on how you can have an apocalypse of your own if you want to.

What, you think it’s not happening? You think it’s all bogus silly New Age bubblegum fluff with a side of hippie wishful thinking?

Uhhh ... yup.

Anyone with any serious training in such matters agrees: that beloved, grisly zombie apocalypse thing? The traditional doomsday cataclysm scenario with the epic earthquakes, exploding stars and fiery, unhinged doom that inhales oceans, swallows nations and spits out the bloody bones of ditzy virgins and false gods? Not what the 2012 prophecy is really all about. Sorry.

Nor is it about some sort of childish Christian Rapture hootenanny, where hordes of baffled true believers in bad jeans and worse marriages get whisked off to the fluffy, sex-free clouds in giant minivans that smell like stale Doritos and closeted homosexuality. I know! You wish.

I do. That's kinda too bad.

A whole buncha stuff, and then:

I know what you’re thinking. Every age likes to believe it’s the special one, the “greatest generation,” the enlightened era blessed with special insights and cosmic intuitions never before known. And why not? It’s a deep comfort to religious and non-religious alike to think there’s some sort of goal, that we’re headed toward something grand and greater than what we have right now, call it “heaven” or “enlightenment” or “afterlife,” doesn’t matter. It’s all the same impulse.

Good news, bad news: It doesn’t quite work like that. Cataclysm is mostly about shattering old patterns and numb beliefs, apocalypse is about blasting apart concrete ignorance and sneering solipsism and embracing the idea that we are all in this together. The great shift is merely to stop thinking you are alone, separate, lesser than, not a perfectly formed part of the hum and pulse of everything, and that most certainly includes God. What, you prefer zombies? What a shame.

God, zombies, whatever. We need to hear a cosmic "Fire in the hole!" and watch that shit get blasted to kingdom come. Too bad it ain't gonna happen. But then, you never know...